When Parents Move in With Kids

You hear a lot about parents taking in adult children who are out of work. What's much less noticed is the opposite trend — adult children taking in parents who find it hard to make it on their own.

Their numbers are rising dramatically. In 2008, 4.05 million parents were living with an adult child. By the end of 2011, the number had risen to 4.6 million — a 13.7 percent increase. (I was one of those adult children: My late mother-in-law lived with us for nine years.)

Most parents give up their own households reluctantly — usually because of frailty or loneliness after the loss of a spouse. Increasingly, however, older people are going broke. They might have lost a job in their late 50s or early 60s and run through their savings. And their children are their safety net.

Still, "it's not a decision to make quickly or in crisis," says Gregory French, president of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. "Having good visits with your children doesn't necessarily promise a good co-living arrangement."

If you're thinking of moving in with one of your children, for whatever reason, what are the rules of the road? Three issues are paramount: financial arrangements, duties and privacy.

You will probably want to contribute something toward family expenses, so discuss what's best. If you n
Everything should be talked through and written down, to avoid misunderstandings, French says. Your child might be embarrassed to ask for a written agreement, so bring up the subject yourself. Read More.